Ch-ch-changes

Consider this my open letter aka a lesson in TMI

So content has been sparse around here - have you noticed? hahaha Back in September, I only posted twice and that correlated with me joining LocalCut.com and beginning to post four times per week over there. This April, I again only posted twice. Does that mean I've joined another blog? YES! Still, that's only the half of it... or maybe quarter. But first, let's get into that.

You can now find me over on Pampelmoose.com blogging about whatever I see fit, but of course in relation to music!

My first post was a live review of Raconteurs, my second was a review of Nathan aka Brace Paine's new club night Situations and my other two posts so far have featured polaroids of Cut Copy and a Midnight Juggernauts remix of Sebastian Tellier. Pampelmoose is a part of the Nemo Design family and run by Dave Allen - formerly of Gang of Four . I hope you'll bookmark the site and keep a look-out for my shiz at least twice a week over there.

Now what about the other three quarters? Well, that's where it gets tricky, tricky, tricky. I'm pretty unsure about the role of this blog in my life anymore to put it simply. I started Not on the Guest List so that I could get in free to concerts, meet the bands I wanted to meet and spout off about who I love because there was no other outlet for me to do that. That last reason is the biggest because in high school I'd already perfected the art of pretending to be from certain publications in order to gain access and that was fun, but my photos and experiences never went anywhere because I indeed had no affiliation with said publications. I carried that grand tradition with me out of highschool and from the US to the UK and beyond, but I really wanted my stuff to reach an audience. I'd tried to start my own magazine in Glasgow and lost a lot of money and I also tried to whore myself out to other mags and newspapers and felt invisible due to the lack of response. So I started chugging away on this blog after my fairy godfather Leigh suggested I start something online about music as I experience it and now it's the opposite in terms of audience. Mostly developed by way of this blog, I now have numerous opportunities through Pitchfork, Willamette Week, Skyscraper, URB, Localcut, Pampelmoose and recent freelance stuff for Blender, Rolling Stone and the recently shuttered Harp so it's like I don't really need NotGL - at least not for the same reasons I did. I've tried not to just syndicate content onto here from my other posts around the interweb unless I have more information to offer that didn't appear in those posts because I think it wouldn't be as interesting and it'd personalize this blog even more, plus I'm aware that quite a few people who read this already see my stuff on Pitchfork and other sites. Granted Gawker bloggers produce 12 posts each a day, but I get kinda burnt out of the blogging that I do elsewhere.

I'm REALLY jealous of Greg Panda Toes because it takes him like 15 minutes for a post and it takes me wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy longer.

And I'm really lazy. The amount of blog posts per month on here correlate to when I had day jobs and when I didn't and right now I don't. Self-motivation/procrastination is perhaps my biggest issue which is kinda hard when you're a freelancer, but since my livelihood depends on those outside assignments, I can force myself to occasionally get stuff done. I kinda want a day job again, actually I really do, because it would add some discipline to my life what with having a schedule and shiz.

I long ago set a target that when/if daily site traffic falls below 400 people, then I will blog here if I wasn't already feeling like it. And I used to have to blog every couple of days to meet that when the count was my motivator. Like it would be higher than that if I actually blogged, but if I didn't it would start to drop down to that amount and the second it went lower I was on the keyboard typing up a new post. Only after a month of non-blogging in April, that was still the traffic average, so I guess that means I should re-evaluate and set the traffic bar higher. (Except I don't want to because that would mean I have to blog more)

Lastly - I hate getting shit from people. My favorite email was someone calling me a sycophant. Umm... okay. That may be a bit more than what I see myself as, but when have I ever represented myself as someone other than a fangirl? I list my occupation on flickr as: fangirl gone wild. Not on the Guest List isn't some heralded slice of journalism, but a grammar defying blog by a 22 year old who accidentally accumulates far too many plastic bags in her bedroom and continues to love bands as if something depended on it... and occasionally has dreams that James Ford is her bus driver hahahahaha - true story. So I've totally been a bit timid in posts just aware that - 'ooooohhh this will likely trigger people to launch personal attacks on me because my opinion differs from theirs'. One accusatory email I got derided my choice of bands I cover and I can't help who I'm a fan of or who I happen to see live. Don't read this blog if it bothers you so much. I'm sick of getting shit for sharing my opinion because that's what it is - an opinion of one person. And not too controversial of an opinion may I add, or at least I didn't think it was... And may I also add, it'd be different if it was only one email, but it often escalates to 14 from just one person... in one day. I just get pretty insecure about posting which is sad because I like honest blogs and I feel that's getting compromised here.

So yeah - I'm just reevaluating what NotGL means to me. This may seem like I went overboard in explanation, but it's just something I wanted to post because this site is really really important to me and I wouldn't be where I am in my life right now without it. It changed my life 360 from the aforementioned work aspect to my personal relationships with bands to my circle of friends. How crazy is that? Because I had no inkling it would when I started it. No inkling at all. I still want that elusive book deal however... I at least won't abandon this until that comes through ahahahahaha

Comments

[harro]

That's crap that you get so much vitriol thrown your way. Don't listen to the haters. Been checking this blog for years now & have been nudged in the direction of so much great music because of it. Quality over quantity of posts is what makes it IMO. Don't go, NotGL!

[Dave Allen]

As I weather the storm of comments about leaving Gang of Four I empathize.
I love you...keep going girl!!

Dave